|Love this of Logan except he looks old|
|Sams private shoot just w/his mom|
Sam pretty much kills me in all of these. What a Doofus!
I feel like I just gained 1500 pounds. I have a giant weight on my shoulders and am very nervous about it.
I'm not sure if I am just tired or what but I just feel like bawling. I don't like screwing up and I hate being in charge. They called and asked us to say the Sacrament prayers too and I said yes of course, cause I always do but inside I wanted to say why don't you just have me give the talks and do the Sunday School lesson and then count the tithing too after church while I am at it (although Dave already does that). I think that may have been a pity party for a moment. I hate praying in public!
I am positive that I cannot fill the shoes of Hillari but I imagine I will just wear them out differently. I sure hope that the YW and mainly their parents will be patient with me for a while, or for as long as my "term" is!
I never thought I would be one of those old lady idiots who "claim" they love the Young Women but I ate my thoughts and I do love them. Every last little dirt bag! They are amazing and they aren't perfect but heck, neither am I and they seem to tolerate me okay. I was blown away in the summer at girls camp at how kind they are to each other. I do not remember being that kind. Every one of them bore testimony of the things they believed, I never did that. I was the girl that everyone sat staring at waiting to end the meeting but not wanting to end it in case I was just slow to get up. I never did. I am a very private person in my spirituality and being the Mia maid leader has made me have to come out of that shell a little, more that I am comfortable with. I heard someone once say if you are comfortable, you aren't growing. I'm about as uncomfortable as it gets at the moment.
Dave has had this evil smirk on his face ever since I was delivered the news. He is getting quite the kick out of it. Even though I want to smack him, I am very grateful he is the Dad that he is because I don't worry about anything with the kids even if I am not able to do it. He is a better Mom than me sometimes (but I do more yard work)
I remember my mom being the best YW president I ever knew, oh wait, I still feel that way. She was amazing and she was so patient. She never yelled or even raised her voice and she loved the guts right out of those girls and not just the ones w/her DNA. I get that from her, not wanting to call attention to people because you have to get loud and yell. I'm more of a peanut gallery in the back corner type of girl. I am not sure how she did it all w/8 kids and a husband who worked 24/7. She claims she had wonderful women to work along side her. I am banking on that.
I am sad however to not have that constant interaction w/the current leaders in YW. You get to know people on such different levels when you work w/them and camp w/them and sometimes pee your pants w/them. I love these chicks and the girls I know are going to be sad about that too. I think that is a bigger part of my emotions than the stress. I realize you can still be friends but we all know it just isn't the same.
I have had many moments of inspiration in the last few weeks pertaining to this new calling and I am grateful for that or I am sure I would have to up my Zoloft just to cope. Ahh maybe I'll do that anyway!
So here's to a new and probably very wild ride!
Neve: "mom move your big tush"
I had just taken Neve to the bathroom at Walmart and then resumed shopping and Sam says "mom I gotta go to the bathroom" so I said "why didn't you go when we were just over there, I hate when you guys do that" He replies "Well I didn't have to go at that point"